I have heard a lot of backlash lately about “God will make something good from that”.  And I will give you, that when you are in the darkest moments…you just want to punch someone that says it to you.  It is a misguided and misused platitude….or what I used to call “Sunday school” answer.  It is not hopeful or helpful when you are talking with someone that has freshly experience trauma or grief. How do you say that to someone who has just lost a spouse or a child…or just found out their child was molested…or…fill in the blank.  It is a devastating wake up to the realities and evils that exist in this world.  In the worst times…people don’t need your words…they need your presence.  They need you to be there and hold their hand and listen…even listen to their silence.  Is it uncomfortable for you?…yes…but it is strategically important for them.

Now, having said that, I do believe that good can come of bad events/situations, but not in the way most people think. It is in the process of recovery that the good happens…not the event itself.  For instance, when my parent’s divorced when I was younger, it was an earth shattering event in my life.  But, from that event, I learned that I was stronger than I believed. I discovered a faith that was my own faith…not my parent’s faith.  I also learned that I could define and redefine what I thought of as “family” and that I could choose joy for my life by embracing grace and gratitude.  The “event” is not good nor will it ever be good…but it has made me a different, better person.  I lost my husband to cancer in 2009 after a long and horrific battle.  I cannot nor will I ever say that it was good that it happened in my life. But, I learned to be a much more compassionate person and I am still learning and growing from this experience daily.  It is a choice that you need to make.  You can either let the trauma and darkness make you bitter and destroy you or you can allow it to be used, as only God can do, to shape you and mold you into a better, more authentic, more compassionate person.  A person that finds grace and gratitude for every day.  A person that finds joy in living.